Book Review: ALL THINGS DEADLY (SALEM STORIES)

Tombstone of John Murray, Mt. Rest Cemetery, just outside Russell, Illinois {photo credit Susan Macdonald}

All Things Deadly (Salem Stories) is a collection of loosely related stories by Erik C. Hanson. ATD (SS) has been nominated for Bram Stoker Award for the Collection category. Although the Bram Stoker Award is granted by the Horror Writers Association, I would only call a few of the stories in this collection horror. Some are slice-of-life, which in a post-Covid world, is horrific enough. Some Rod Serling would have been pleased to buy to film as Twilight Zone episodes.

The first of the twenty-odd stories (excuse the pun) is “The Frosts – An Introduction” which introduces the two main characters, paranormal investigator Adam Frost and his daughter Sutton.

“Taunt That Witch” and “Crunchy Bits” are two of my favorite stories, and two of the must traditionally frightening ones. I also liked “Freewrite Friday,” although as an ex-teacher, I didn’t think Mrs. Fredericks’ lessons were appropriate to the grade she was teaching; I did like the rest of the story.

“The Old Man” is one of the more powerful stories in the collection, although it may offend some readers. “While [Bernie’s] dream was exceptionally short, he had achieved it. The fact he would be dead in a few minutes was utterly irrelevent.” There are few happily ever afters in this book. There are wins and losses, petty triumphs, petty but painful defeats, moral victories, pointless deaths. Life in Salem is often short and senseless, but so is life everywhere these days. Some characters learn from their errors; most merely suffer.

“Revenge Tour” shows how cruel deliberate cruelty can be in the 21st century.

Harold Roberts of “Stalker 101,” Barbara Fredericks of “Freewrite Friday,” Lynn Vanderloo and Samantha Deavers of “Red Couch” — this book is full of unforgettable characters who will linger in your memory long after you’ve closed the covers of the book. Not necessarily nice people, no, but memorable.

“She was wrong about him,
which begged the question: Was she wrong about many people?”

All Things Deadly (Salem Stories) might not be the best book to read right before bedtime, but it’s definitely a book worth reading.

Easy-Peasy Turkey tetrazzini

{image via Norman Rockwell

One of my favorite holiday traditions is making tetrazzini with the leftover turkey. Tetrazzzini is a turkey/pasta casserole. Being lazy, mine isn’t as fancy as my mother’s. There are several variations to the recipe and it;s easily alterable. My mother used to make a white sauce and add muahrooms. I use canned soups (hey, I’m a Macdonald. I need to do something to keep the Campbells off the dole queue and out of reouble.)

Ingredients

a pound of spaghetti or other pasta (fettucine works well)

one can cream of chicken soup — cream of chicken with herbs, is better ,if you can find it (the grocery store doesn’t carry it as much anymore). Cream of mushroom or celery soup may be substituted.

1 can of cheddar soup

4-5 cups of Shredded mozzarella

1 cup or more of cooked, shredded turkey. [Young hands, if washed, can pull meat off the carcass and shred it. Older hands can chop or dice leftover slices of turkey into bite-size or smaller pieces.]

Optional small can of mushrooms or peas, drained

Grated Parmesan (optional)

Directions

Boil a pound of spaghetti, vermicelli, or fettuccine until al dente. Drain the pasta.

Spread a can of cheddar across a casserole dish (if half a pound of pasta you may use a pie pan).

Lay half the spaghetti atop the cheddar. Sprinkle approximately a third of the turkey over the spaghetti.

If adding mushrooms or peas, do so now. Scatter two handfuls of grated mozzarella over the turkey.

Add the other half of the cooked pasta. Spread cream of chicken over the pasta. Top with three handfuls of mozzarella and optional grated Parmesan. Add more turkey. Sime people top with bread crumbs, I don’t.

Bake at 350 Fahrenheit for 20 minutes or microwave on high for five minutes, or until the mozzarella is melted.

Remove carefully from the oven. Let cool a minute or two before serving. For a healthier dinner, serve with a green salad.

This is a good way to use up the leftover turkey before it dries out.

Codicil: how to cook moist, tender turkey

Check the package for how long to cook the turkey at which temperature. Thaw turkey thoroughly and slowly. (Quick thaws can be dangerous to your health.) Place several pieces of bacon )one for each carnivore in the family) on top of the turkey’s breast. This will baste the turkey. After an hour (for crispy bacon) remove the bacon and serve it as an hors d’oeuvres. For less crispy bacon, leave on turkey 30-45 minutes. After removing the first helping , eat it (the kids are probably getting antsy by now, waiting for the turkey to cook.) Place a second helping of bacon on the turkey. My family usually goes through three rounds of bacon.Modify the cooking time deprndin on how well done you like your bacon.

Place four or five carrots inside the turkey. They will help keep the inside of the bird moist and provide a healthy side dish, to balance out the multiple holiday desserts. Try to have something from each of the four basic food groups, OR from each step of the FDA food pyramid. Limit yourself to two or three helpings, eat a balanced diet, and go for a walk after the dishes are done to burn off some of the calories.

s

Thanksgiving 2021

{image via Norman Rockwell}

In 2021 CE, Thanksgiving fell on Thursday, November 25, exactly one month before Christmas, which I swear comes earlier every year, even though the calendar claims it’s on 12/25 every year.

Asusual, we gathered at my sister-in-law’s (SIL) home. With nine children, she’s the only one with enough room to host everybody. I think her husband said we sat down sixteen to dinner. (Not all at the same table, of course). My husband and I, our two children, and seven of my SIL’s children & two of their spouses. Also, my husband and SIL’s aunt. Three generations.

Roast turkey. Corn cobettes. Mashed potatoes. Green beans. Cranberry sauce. Asparagus. Rolls.

We brought drinks and dessert: Several varieties of soda pop, and a big bottle of apple juice. I baked two pies: a traditional pumpkin pie, and a rhubarb pie as a welcome home treat for my daughter who came back from college for the weekend. The pumpkin pie was edible, but not great. The rhubarb pie was a failed experiment and a waste of good ingredients. NEVER AGAIN am I using frozen rhubarb. My mother gave me more rhubarb than we could eat at once this spring (only my daughter and I care for rhubarb), so she recommended I freeze it and thaw it out when I was ready to bake it. My SIL and BIL also had some tasty storebought pies: cherry, blueberry, and a better pumpkin pie than mine.

I didn’t want to be greedy, so I limited myself to two helpings. The nice thing about eating a holiday dinner at someone else’s house is not cooking and cleaning. The worst thing is not having leftovers. No turkey sandwiches for lunch the next day, no turkey tetrazinni for dinner the next day, no turkey bones to boil for broth for those who are feeling industrious.

trThe adults mostly talked about people and places I don’t know, which was a bit boring for me. We see the cousins so seldom and there are so many of them, I have trouble remembering which nephew and niece are which. They refuse to wear nametags, which gets embarrassing.

Today is the first Sunday of Advent and the first day of Hanukkah. My daughter is safely returned to college. She spent most of her holiday visit working on homework; we did very little visiting and catching up.

September 28, 2021 – A Trip to the Zoo

My husband (DH) and son (DS) and I went to the Memphis Zoo today. My son wanted to get out of the house. DH and I concurred. DH wanted physical therapy — walking around the zoo. I wanted to take pictures for a counting book I’m planning: One, Two, At the Zoo. We spent approximately 3 hours there, from 11:00 am to 2:00 pm.

First we went to see the flamingoes, since a flock of flamingoes would permit me to get a large number of animals in one picture.

If my count is correct, there are 20 lesser flamingoes in this picture.

Then we went to Zambezi River Camp, where we saw the mandrill, the okapi, the hippo, and the fish that share the hippo’s tank.

I shall need to research what type of fish these are. I was disappointed the okapi pictures came out so poorly. The crocodiles were not out when we walked past their enclosure. From there we went on to KangaZoo, the walk-through kangaroo exhibit. The kangaroos were out, but declined to be photogenic. DS is of the opinion kangaroos act like cats: they like to nap when it’s warm.

This fellow looks like he wants a belly rub, but the keepers discourage visitors from petting. Kangaroos are very skittish. A branch falling or a gimpy visitor scuffing her weak foot will make them start.

From there we went through the African veldt exhibit, where we saw the bongo, the giraffes, the scimitar-horned oryx, zebras, rhinos, and elephants. I took several pictures, most of which did not come out well. We went on to Northwest Passage. The (air-conditioned) giftshop was closed for lunch, so we went on to the polar bear and sea lion exhibit. We sat down (Gimpy needed to rest) and watched the sea lions a few minutes, then backtracked to Cathouse Cafe for lunch. I felt better after a sandwich and a soda. I had the turkey club hoagie, which was overpriced but tasty, and Pepsi. We sat directly under one of the ceiling fans. Resting in the cool air was nice, although DS complained the ceiling fan cooled down the hot food. He had chicken tenders. DH had a burger and was kind enough to share his French fries. The gibbon exhibit is next to Cathouse Cafe. The gibbons come up to the cafe windows and watch the people eat. Zoo etiquette among members and frequent visitors is to leave the tables next to the windows for families with young children. The gibbons were more active today than usual.

After lunch we planned to go to Cat Canyon, but DS pointed out we had laundry to do at home and DH and I (who both use canes) were getting tired. We made a brief stop in the Elephant’s Trunk, the main giftshop, as both DH and DS have birthdays coming up. Then we headed home.

Is this nine flamingoes or ten?

‘Twas only the three of us. DD is in college and could not come with us.

Don’t forget to read my articles at SciFi.radio or buy the fantasy anthologies that contain my stories.

Book Review: notsleepyyet

notsleepyyet is a poetry book by Alexander P. Garza. After you read it, you may have trouble sleeping, too. The poems, are powerful, but disturbing. Don’t expect moon/June/honeymoon, even in the poems where Mr. Garza talks of how much he loves his wife. Mostly free verse, with some rhyme.

“Spider Web” begins:

“There’s a ten foot spider overhead ready to saran wrap me./His legs vibrate-tingle like prickly branches pulsating.

He follows me to my car and hides behind/where the where the headrest meets my neck.” Disturbing imagery.

From “Imagination is a Dangerous Place”:

“Never use a hand grenade/ when handling form/ or meter or unfettered passion./ Just use it when/ things get stale.”

There are indeed times Garza uses a metaphorical hand grenade.

He speaks of Hurricane Harvey, of his wife, their child, illegal aliens, ghosts, brujos, alcohol, weather, hospitals, music, etc. If you’re looking for poetry that is soft, sweet, and fluffy, like cheesecake, this is not the book for you. If you like your poetry strong and tough, like slightly overdone pot roast cooked with onions and turnips, then notsleepyyet might be the book for you.

Notsleepyyet has been nominated for Bram Stoker Awards in the Poetry category. I recommend it.

Jezebel References

Yolen, Jane and Heidi E. Y. Stemple Bad Girls: Sirens, Jezebels, Murderesses, & Other Female Villains. Watertown, Massachusetts: Charlesbridge Publishing, 2013.

Jastrow, Morris, Jr., J. Frederic McCurdy, and Duncan B. McDonald “Baal and Baal Worship,” Jewish Encyclopedia.com

http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/2236-ba-al-and-ba-al-worship.

Higgs, Liz Curtis Really Bad Girls of the Bible. Colorado Springs, Colorado: Waterbrook Press, 2000.

Frymer-Kensky, Tivka Reading the Women of the Bible. New York: Shocken Books, 2002.

https://www.newadvent.org/cathen/08404a.htm

2 Kings 9:30-37.

(1 Kings 16:31, 32

1 Kings 18:19

1 Kings 18:4

1 Kings 18:40

1 Kings 19:1-3

1 Kings 21

View at Medium.com

Macdonald, Susan https://medium.com/p/60db0aba1719/edit

Book Review: BAD GIRLS

{image by Rebecca Guay, via Charlesbridge Publishing}

Dr. Jane Yolen and her daughter Heidi E. Y. Stemple wrote a book called Bad Girls: Sirens, Jezebels, Murderesses, Thieves & Other Female Villains. Like many of Dr. Yolen’s books, it’s intended for younger readers. (Amazon suggests ages 9-12.) However despite the fact I haven’t been twelve in decades, I found it most enjoyable, entertaining, and educational. Sir Philip Sidney said poetry should “teach, delight, and move Men to take that goodness in hand.” Dr. Yolen is not only an author and an editor, but also a poet (her political poetry is wonderful!), so it’s no surprise this prose book teaches and delights … it might even inspire some readers to goodness. It’s inspiring me to write.

I have long been considering writing a Gladys Malvern-type YA about Jezebel. When I went to my local small town library for a book on life in Biblical times, especially in Phoenicia, the shelves had nothing I needed. However, the card catalog informed me I could find information on Jezebel by an author I trusted through inter-library loan.

I only needed six pages of the book, but I had to check out the whole book, and I’m glad I did. All 164 pages were interesting. Dr. Yolen and Ms. Stemple present the stories of 26 historical “bad girls” as objectively as possible. Queens, pistol-wielding pretties, pirates in petticoats, racketeers’ molls, mothers who did not set a good example for their children, spies, poisoners, witches, etc. This was the first book since my stroke that I’ve been able to sit down and read cover to cover in one sitting. OK, it was less than 200 pages and it’s double-spaced between lines, maybe triple-spaced and a decent-sized font. Also, I am old enough to be the mother of the average reader of the target audience. But I read it all in one sitting, and I’m chuffed about that!

The villainesses that Dr. Yolen has chosen for this book are Delilah, Jezebel, Cleopatra, Salome, Anne Boleyn, Bloody Mary, Elisabeth Bathory, Moll Cutpurse, Tituba, Anne Bonney, Mary Read, Peggy Shippen Arnold, Catherine the Great, Rose O’Neal Greenhow, Belle Starr, Calamity Jane, Lizzie Borden, Madame Alexe Popova, Pearl Hart, Typhoid Mary, Mata Hari, Ma Barker, Beulah Annan, Belva Gaertner, Bonnie Parker, and Virginia Hill. Some (many) of these women were more sinned against than sinning – especially by 21st century standards. Most I had heard of before, but some of the names and information was new to me.

After each chapter, is a cartoon of Jane Yolen and Heidi Stemple discussing the woman in question: was she a victim of circumstances or an actual villainess?

Dr. Yolen taught me two new vocabulary word: tomrig (a rude, wild, wanton girl) and rumpscuttle (a girl who had little regard for the traditional female pursuits). I used both words in a Medium post a few days ago.

I enjoyed this book and I regret having to send it back to a library in another county. I recommend it to any reader young or old, male or female, who is interested in historical figures. I will be copying down the information in the bibliography before I return it.

Portrait of Queen Jezebel, by John Liston Byam Shaw (1872 -1919)

Submissions

On or after August 30, submit “Ebony Black” to Mirror, Mirror.

Silence in the City firefighter/paramedic story, 2K – 5K by Grandma Van Horn’s birthday.

Third Flatiron cut 1,000 words from “Never Was a Merry World” by August 2 or else write new story re Things with Wings: Stories of Hope, 1,500 – 3K words, 8 cents a word.

What Is Sword & Sorcery?

What is sword and sorcery? It’s a sub-genre of fantasy full of witches, warlords, heroes, hellions, thieves, and thaumaturges. (Why, yes, scribes of sword & sorcery stories are fond of alliteration. Why do you ask?) For good examples, read Roy Thomas’ adaptions and extrapolations of Robert E. Howard’s fantasy adventure stories in Marvel Comicsor the late Marion Zimmer Bradley’s Sword and Sorceress series of anthologies. The back cover brags that “Parallel Universe Publications presents tales of swords and sorceries, of warlocks and warriors, of demons and demigods from some of the best writers in the genre today.” (Yes, we do like alliteration.)

That back cover blurb inspired my story in volume 2, “Zale and Zedril” about a demon and a demigod. Technically, both are demigods, offspring of Darmock of the Sword, god of fighting and fertility. He is demonborn rather than true demon; his mother is a she-demon. She is a demigod, who passes for human. Her mother was human. Usually in co-ed sword & sorcery, the male is a swordsman and the female is a sorceress. I decided to switch it ’round. She is a fighter. He is a mage. Although I will be submitting more Zale & Zedril stories to Sword & Sorceries, I also hope to sell some tales of their adventures to higher paying markets. Maybe in 20-30 years I (or my literary executor – I may be dead by then) will collect the Z squared stories into in all Macdonald anthology.

Getting off track here: what is sword & sorcery? S & S is a subgenre of fantasy that focuses on action stories. The heroes may save their kingdom, but usually don’t save the world. The protagonists tend to be picaresque rather than avatars of the Light. Good vs. Evil is less of a plot point than catching and beating up the pickpocket who stole your beer money. Short stories are more common than novels. Although sword & sorcery is influenced by historical fiction, it generally takes place in an entirely make-believe setting, often loosely based on generic European medieval. The late MZB complained that the tropes of S & S were terribly sexist and that female characters were limited to “bad conduct prizes” for the heroes, which is why she started her annual anthology for swordswomen and sorceresses, which has continued on since her death.

Swords & Sorceries: Tales of Heroic Fantasy is a series of anthologies of Sword & Sorcery tales. I’ve had the privilege to be in volumes 1 and 2, and I am working on a story to submit to volume 3. Follow this link here to a very favorable review of Volume 2, which not only mentions my story, but spells my name correctly!

Submissions for volume 3 are welcome from August 1 to October 31, 2021. Parallel Universe Publications is a small press and cannot afford (yet) to pay SFWA rates. Payment is £25 per story regardless of length, plus a contributor’s copy. The book will be published as a paperback and ebook. If a hardcover version is published they will pay an additional £25. Contributors can also buy extra copies of the book through Parallel Universe Publications at cost price. Parallel Universe Publications at cost price.

Swords & Sorceries: Tales of Heroic Fantasy

Swords & Sorceries: Tales of Heroic Fantasy is a series of anthologies of Sword & Sorcery tales. I’ve had the privilege to be in volumes 1 and 2, and I am working on a story to submit to volume 3. Follow this link here to a very favorable review of Volume 2, which not only mentions my story, but spells my name correctly!

What is sword and sorcery? It’s a sub-genre of fantasy full of witches, warlords, heroes, hellions, thieves, and thaumaturges. (Why, yes, scribes of sword & sorcery stories are fond of alliteration. Why do you ask?) For good examples, read Roy Thomas’ adaptions and extrapolations of Robert E. Howard’s fantasy adventure stories in Marvel Comicsor the late Marion Zimmer Bradley’s Sword and Sorceress series of anthologies. The back cover brags that “Parallel Universe Publications presents tales of swords and sorceries, of warlocks and warriors, of demons and demigods from some of the best writers in the genre today.” (Yes, we do like alliteration.)

That back cover blurb inspired my story in volume 2, “Zale and Zedril” about a demon and a demigod. Technically, both are demigods, offspring of Darmock of the Sword, god of fighting and fertility. He is demonborn rather than true demon; his mother is a she-demon. She is a demigod, who passes for human. Her mother was human. Usually in co-ed sword & sorcery, the male is a swordsman and the female is a sorceress. I decided to switch it ’round. She is a fighter. He is a mage. Although I will be submitting more Zale & Zedril stories to Sword & Sorceries, I also hope to sell some tales of their adventures to higher paying markets. Maybe in 20-30 years I (or my literary executor – I may be dead by then) will collect the Z squared stories into in all Macdonald anthology.

Getting off track here: what is sword & sorcery? S & S is a subgenre of fantasy that focuses on action stories. The heroes may save their kingdom, but usually don’t save the world. The protagonists tend to be picaresque rather than avatars of the Light. Good vs. Evil is less of a plot point than catching and beating up the pickpocket who stole your beer money. Short stories are more common than novels. Although sword & sorcery is influenced by historical fiction, it generally takes place in an entirely make-believe setting, often loosely based on generic European medieval. The late MZB complained that the tropes of S & S were terribly sexist and that female characters were limited to “bad conduct prizes” for the heroes, which is why she started her annual anthology for swordswomen and sorceresses, which has continued on since her death.

Submissions for volume 3 are welcome from August 1 to October 31, 2021. Parallel Universe Publications is a small press and cannot afford (yet) to pay SFWA rates. Payment is £25 per story regardless of length, plus a contributor’s copy. The book will be published as a paperback and ebook. If a hardcover version is published they will pay an additional £25. Contributors can also buy extra copies of the book through Parallel Universe Publications at cost price.